Life got in the way of me, yet again, and I haven't had much time to sit down and blog!!
So, since I last posted, I have had an endoscopy, have been getting my heart better managed (YIPEE), but we have started going downhill with the thyroid health again. I am LOVING having my heart rate better managed. I am still having issues with break throughs in the evenings and mid day, but over all heart health is much better. It has been a nice change not feeling like my heart is about to burst through my chest and speed away with how fast and hard it is beating. My endoscopy (EGD) showed swelling in my esophagus (explaining my dysphagia), stomach, and duodenum. The diagnosis of GERD and acid reflux were tossed around. I was put on a proton pump inhibitor that helped with not feeling ill and getting sick after meals, but no relief for the dysphagia. '
Now the little bastard thyroid however is still giving trouble. I haven't seen an endocrinologist since I was 6 weeks post op from my hemithyroidectomy. It finally came down to my doctor saying I fit too closely with the profile still of a hyperthyroid patient. He ordered new blood tests to check all of my levels, and then ordered another ultrasound. During the physical examination, he did say he felt my remaining lobe may be enlarged, but it was hard to tell (hence the ultrasound being ordered). Most people can guess that my biggest fear right now is a tumor relapse and cancer. My surgeon was pretty clear that if I were to have another tumor grow, the likelihood of it being cancerous is pretty high, so if they think the rest of the gland is enlarged then rip the sucker out!!! I guess now it has just become a waiting game. I hear the OK Go song in the back of my head, "here it goes again."
I think the hardest part of living with a chronic illness is not realizing the little battles are big victories. Like having the energy to ride the horse more than twice a week, or even just getting up in the morning and having the energy to do my hair and make up. That, and just not feeling "normal." Though the idea of normal in itself is extremely skewed, it is hard knowing what my old normal is and knowing what my new normal is. I am so thankful for my friends constant support as I struggle to learn who I am now and who I have become. I don't know what I would do without them.
I think this is all I have to say for now. I will try to be more diligent about updating and keeping track with my blog, though school is about to start up so who knows what life will be like now!
